Note to the reader: While this article will have unique application for pastors and those desiring to be in pastoral ministry one day, I want to emphasize that there are principles in here for every believer. I intentionally wrote it that way so that whether you’re a full-time pastor, a lay-elder at your church, or a member of a church simply seeking to follow Jesus more faithfully, this article will be encouraging and helpful for you. And if nothing else, this will give you a deeper understanding and appreciation for the struggles your pastor is facing and help you know how to more intentionally pray for them.

I have been in full-time ministry since December of 2011 and it’s hard to believe I’ll soon be entering my 15th year of pastoral ministry. As I reflect on the time God has given me serving His Church, a few lessons came to mind that I have learned while ‘in the trenches.’ These are not things I distinctly remember anyone preparing me to face and some of them are conversations that really need to happen among young pastors like myself more often. I strongly believe these lessons (or principles) are biblical, although some of them do not have a chapter and verse that I can point to as a “proof-text.” That being said, all of them are taken from biblical principles and wisdom that we find in the Scriptures that I have sought to apply to my life and ministry.

I do not believe I have come up with anything new here. All I am doing is shining a light on some of the things I wish I had known and applied much earlier in my walk with Christ and pastoral ministry. All that said, I do not write this article with regret, but with thankfulness to God for His grace in teaching me along the way as I follow Him. So, here’s five (of the many) things I’ve learned along these last 14 years of ministry.

1. Under-shepherds are judged by the Chief Shepherd

Admittedly, this is the one principle on the list that does more directly apply to pastors particularly. However, all believers will stand before the judgement seat of Christ, so don’t stop reading just yet. Pastors though, not only will stand before Judgement as believers in Christ, but also as those who will give an account for how they steward their calling as a pastor. This is one of the principles that I do have a chapter and verse for, so here it is:

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account…”
Hebrews 13:17 (ESV)

The writer of Hebrews makes clear that pastors will give an account to the Lord for how we shepherd the flock of God that He has entrusted to us. On my first Sunday as the senior pastor of MissionWay Church, this truth hit be like a mac truck. My calling was not to win the approval of the world, other Christians, my congregation, myself, my family, or anyone else. My calling was to be a faithful “under-shepherd” of the Chief Shepherd and to pastor in the way that He, in His Word, tells me to.

This is a sobering reality and one that will cause any pastor to pause and assess the methods of ministry he employs. It certainly challenged me to go beyond trying to simply give a “good” sermon, cast vision, grow the church numerically, and sustain the ministry. I am not primarily a leader of an organization, I am a shepherd of souls (with the understanding that I am under the Chief Shepherd).

Early in my ministry, I would have probably acknowledged this to be true, but it wasn’t until a little more than 5 years ago that this reality truly set in and I began actually seeking to pastor in light of this truth. And while, on the one hand, this is sobering and seems like a heavy burden to carry, the truth that I am doing this “under” the faithful Shepherding of the True Shepherd allows me to operate in this truth with joy and confidence in His work in and through me. So I guess you could say this realization was both heavy and freeing all at the same time and it’s not an understatement that this flipped the way I do ministry on it’s head. No wonder I put it first on the list!

2. You will not prioritize your family by default.

Now this certainly applies to all Christians, but pastors have a knack for especially forgetting this. Many of us have repeated the popular mantra that we don’t want to “sacrifice our family on the altar of ministry,” and yet many (read: most) of us at some point have found ourselves on our way to doing just that. I hope you know this, but just in case you don’t let me put it in bold text for you: your family is your first ministry.

Allow me to tie this principle in with the first one with a quote by Brian Croft:

“If I will someday give an account for the way I have cared for the people in our church, how much more of an account must I give for the souls of those in my home?”
Brian Croft

If that doesn’t wake you up to the importance of this, I don’t know what will. Trust me, I know how demanding ministry can be and I know the temptation to allow it to pull us away from our family more than we’re comfortable with. But the truth is that often, the sense of demand we feel in ministry, our jobs, or our daily lives, is self-inflicted. Meaning you are the one placing many of the demands you feel on yourself and then using that as an excuse to not shepherd your family well. Your church needs a pastor who prioritizes his family over them, much in the same way that your kids need parents who prioritize their marriage.

Your family is ground zero in terms of your calling as a follower of Christ. Every other vocation, ministry, project, even relationship, should fall under your famiily in terms of importance to you.

The reality is that you may believe everything I just wrote, say a hearty “amen!” to it, and still be in jeopardy of neglecting your family. Because you will not prioritize them by default. In other words, just because you believe these things to be true, doesn’t mean that you won’t need to fight to make this a reality in your life. This is an area of life that needs constant attention and regular evaluation. Talk to your spouse and your kids often about how you’re doing in this area and be sure to truly listen to them.

If you’re a pastor, I could not recommend this book by Brian Croft more. Get it. Today. Read it, and go through the discussion questions with your spouse. I can say that as boldly as I did only because of how transformative it was for me and my family.

3. Social media is not your flock

I’ve been on X - formerly Twitter (seriously, when will we stop having to qualify that?!) a bit lately and I’ve realized something: many pastors seem to be more concerned with shepherding social media than shepherding their flock. Let me be clear, I do not know their motives and I am not saying this is true in every case I suspect it, I am just trying to put my finger on something that I have observed for some time now.

And of course I get it, I too have fallen victim to this trap. I can tend to get so caught up in theological, political, social, and personal debates on these sites and be completely ignorant to or even flat-out ignore the issues that the people in my church are actually facing. Not that the conversations on social media are unimportant, or irrelevant, but when I am more focused on the conversations online than the needs, hurts, sins, prayers, and questions of the flock God has entrusted to me, I’m not walking as a faithful shepherd.

Another danger in this thinking is that it causes you to run to social media first when you have something to say. Instead of depositing your faithful teaching to your flock first and foremost, they get the leftovers after what you have to say has gone through the filter of the trolls on Twitter. God has placed you in your church not only so that you can shepherd them, but so that they can minister to and hold you accountable as well in your teaching and your character.

What if we put our theology and teaching to the test in our local churches first, and then prayerfully decided whether those things will be helpful and beneficial to share with complete strangers on social media? Just a thought that I’m not even sure will make sense to you, but it’s one I’ve been having for some time and needed to get out there.

Besides all of this, the amount of time that social media can consume is nothing to overlook. Quite frankly, with the volume of posts some pastors and Christians seem to be making, I have no idea how they are finding the time to truly be with their families and churches. How are you doing in this? Have you checked your “Screen Time” stats lately on your phone? If you’re nervous about what they will reveal, maybe you already know this is an issue.

I do not say this as one who has done this perfectly. Especially earlier in my ministry (and still at times today), I fell victim to being more concerned with the conversations online than I was about the needs of those in the pew next to me. I’m not saying being engaged on social media is a bad thing, but it is no replacement for the local church.

4. Discipleship requires boldness.

When I think about all the people who have walked out of my office living in sin that I was too afraid to address directly I’m, quite frankly, a bit embarrassed. similar to many pastors I know, I like to be liked. Too often I seek the approval of men and allow the fear of man to cause me to shrink back from speaking the truth in love to those who I know need to hear it.

But if we are going to be effective in discipleship, it is going to require more boldness than we are sometimes comfortable with. I’m not suggesting we do things like: put a poster board in the church lobby listing the attendance and giving of the members. Before you ask, yes, I have seen churches do that before. It’s just that we try so hard at times to circle around the issues of those God has called us to lead instead of lovingly confronting the things we see. We believe we are acting out of love by not calling them out, but exposing sin in order to wash someone with the Gospel is actually one of the most loving things we can do - and it’s part of our calling as pastors.

Go back to the first point of giving an account to God for those He has placed under your care as a pastor and add to it the truth that life is a “vapor” (James 4:14) and I think you’ll begin to understand the point I am trying to make. We need to have some boldness and urgency with the folks we are discipling. Yes, we need to have kindness, patience, gentleness, and all the other fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), but we also need to love people enough to actually confront their sin, bear their burdens, and speak straight with them.

5. Organization and Productivity can be learned.

“You would forget your head if it wasn’t attached to you” is a sentence spoken by my parents to me more times than I could have counted. Ask those who have known me for much of my life and they would nod their heads in agreement to that statement. For most of my life, I thought that’s just who I am; I’m just simply not a very organized person and I need to accept that, try to mask it as much as possible, and hope for the best. At least, that’s what I thought.

Turns out organization and productivity can be learned. How do I know? Well I have dedicated a good amount of time since the beginning of 2023 learning these skills and I feel confident that my wife would tell you while I still have a long way to go, I have been learning and growing in this area of my life. This article is actually proof of this, because I made plans to write this and didn’t just sit at the desk thinking “what do I want to write about today?” as used to be my custom. Not only did I plan this article, but I proofread and edited it, too! That doesn’t mean I expect it to be without error, but baby steps are worth celebrating.

This final principle may not seem to fit with the ‘more spiritual’ ones above it. Actually, I would say this is spiritual and serious too if you take the words of Ephesians 5:15-17 seriously:

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”
Ephesians 5:15-17 (ESV)

Redeeming your time means being intentional with every single moment whether you’re at work, recreation, family time, rest, church, chores, or whatever else you’re doing, do it all with purpose, planning, and for the glory of the Lord (1 Corinthians 10:31). Don’t just make the excuses I did and say “that’s just not my strength.” If it’s a weakness, work hard to make it a strength. While certain people may be more naturally inlined toward these things, they are skills that I truly believe everyone can, and should try, to master for the purpose of redeeming the time.

If you struggle with this (like I still do at times), a great place to start is this book by Reagan Rose. It will give you a Christian perspective on these things and also very practical tools to begin growing in this area of your life. It’s time to stop making excuses and become a better steward of your time and recources.

Conclusion

Maybe there will be a part two of this article because there are certainly more that I could share, but these are some of the ones I’ve been thinking about most often as of late. My hope is that this article reaches other young pastors who need to be challenged and encouraged in these areas just like I have been. So much more could be said about all of them, and if you’re reading this and need some prayer, encouragement, or even counsel, please send me an email. I would love nothing more than to get in the trenches with you, whether you are a pastor or not.

What about you? Which of these do you struggle with? What would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments below.