Last year, I preached a sermon series titled: “Did God really say?” where we dealt with some of the most controversial subjects in our culture from a Biblical perspective. I have decided to take some of the content from that series and create blog posts out of it. I hope this will serve as a resource to many who are wrestling through these issues. You can watch the entire sermon series here.
I began that series by explaining what it looks like to speak the truth in love. As we think about some of the most heated debates happening in our world today, you can look around and see many Christians who have either conceded to the culture or become silent for fear of persecution or being labeled as divisive. And while the Bible does call us to love others and live peaceful lives (1 Tim. 2:2), the Bible also calls us to boldly proclaim truth (2 Timothy 2:24-26). As Christians we are called to speak truth boldly in the face of evil and to speak lovingly reflecting the face of our Father.
I am writing about this because I believe there are also many Christians who want to be able to speak the truth in love, but their churches are not really teaching them how to do both. Many churches help their people know the truth, but are lacking in demonstrating Christlike love. Others are shying away from the truth in the name of being more loving. But the truth is that you can’t have the truth without love or vice-versa. Because some Christians are not finding how to do this in the Church, they are tuning in to their favorite political podcast to learn how to engage on these issues and when the church gets its morality from politics before the pulpit, we’re in trouble.
The call of Ephesians 4:15 is “…speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” If we are going to know how to do this, we must first understand what truth is.
What is truth?
It’s the famous question that Pilate asked of Jesus (John 18:37-38) and thankfully Jesus had already answered this question in the previous chapter of John when He said “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (John 17:17).
As Christians, we believe that there’s a distinction between little “t” and capital “T” Truth. For instance, it’s a little “t” truth to say that The Yankees are the greatest franchise in sports history. But it’s a big “T” truth to say that there is One God who exists in three persons. Okay, so maybe a better illustration of little “t” truth would be that 2 + 2 = 4. However, I still stand by my assertion about the Yankees.
Both little “t” and big “T” truth come from the Lord who made the world and the laws of physics it’s governed by, but also who has clearly revealed Himself through the divine revelation of Scripture. Our society however does not make such a distinction. They speak more of “your” truth. They’ll tell you that what’s important is not discovering absolute Truth, but living “your” truth. As if you can have your truth and I can have mine but neither of them is superior or “more true.”
The Bible does not leave the possibility of such a category of truth. Paul does not instruct us to speak our truth but to speak THE Truth. Jesus was clear, that truth comes from the Word of God. So when we are aiming to know, and speak truth, we must do so in alignment with the Word of God. Everything contrary is false.
And this call to speak the truth has to do with more than our words. As Christians, we are not just called to affirm true statements, but to live every aspect of our lives in alignment with God’s Truth. This requires not just knowing true things, but having a proper and biblical worldview. And that worldview must be ruled and governed by the Scriptures.
When we speak about anything, we are to be a people who do so in Truth. And we must always be willing to speak that truth even when it’s inconvenient or hard, and even when it costs us something. That is the first way in which we must speak, but Paul says that this truth is also to be spoken with love.
2. What is love?
Just as it’s sinful to not speak the truth, it’s sinful to speak the truth apart from love. Take a look at 1 Timothy 1:5: “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” When we speak the truth, it must always be done in Christlike love. And there is perhaps no greater passage that more clearly shows us what this love should look like than 1 Corinthians 13, specifically verses 4-7. So let’s go to those verses and see how we should season our speech with love.
“Love is patient” – Don’t demand immediate agreement when speaking the truth.
“and kind” – Don’t respond in anger when challenged. Seek the other person’s good.
“Love does not envy” – Don’t use the truth to gain status or popularity.
“or boast” – Never brag about winning an argument or “owning” your opponent.
“it is not arrogant” – Don’t act like you’re the smartest person in the room.
“or rude” – Demeaning language and profane talk have no place on the lips of a Christian.
“It does not insist on its own way” – Considers others more important and God’s glory the goal. Insist on God’s way and the good of others.
“it is not irritable” – some Christians seem to be lying in wait for an argument.
“or resentful” – Never hate, resent, or become bitter toward those who reject the Truth.
“It does not rejoice in wrongdoing” – Think about Jesus rebuking Peter for cutting off the soldier’s ear. Peter was “defending” Jesus but did so wrongfully.
“but rejoices with the truth” – The Goal is not winning arguments, but winning souls and making sure God’s truth is proclaimed.
“Love bears all things” – Mistreatment & persecution should not quench a your love for the lost.
“believes all things” – Always think the best about those you are engaging with.
“hopes all things” – Never think proclaiming truth is in vain or someone is beyond being saved.
“endures all things” – There’s never a season where we can lay down our call to love.
If we are going to be faithful in this culture and in addressing the issues we face, we MUST have both truth and love, not one or the other. As John Stott said “Truth without love is too hard; love without truth is too soft.” Here are a couple questions you can ask yourself to see if you’re seeking to speak the truth in love:
Am I not saying something I should say out of the fear of man?
What biblical passage or principal am I getting this from?
What’s my end goal in this conversation? To win, or to glorify Christ?
Do I have a genuine concern for this person’s relationship with the Lord?
When I stand before the Lord in judgement, will this conversation be rewarded?
Will I be angry with them if they do not listen to me?
Have I considered both what I am saying and how I am saying it?
Christians are to be a people who love people enough to speak the truth and love the truth enough to love people. I would like to close with a sobering thought by Voddie Baucham: “Don’t let anybody tell you that it’s not loving if you stand flat-footed and speak the truth. What’s not loving is to look at someone in the eye when God says the are in jeopardy of an eternity in hell and merely wink and nod at their sin because you’re afraid of being called names.”