“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
Titus 2:3-5
While there is not much in the Bible speaking specifically to women and their respective roles (especially compared to all of the instruction given to men), Titus 2:3-5 gives the women of faith a deep glimpse into what it looks like to be a faithful woman of God.
Much is to be said of the duties of a woman of God scattered throughout the Scriptures. For example, in Ephesians, the Bible supplies instruction on how a woman should submit to her husband. In Proverbs, women are given the example of a hard-working, devoted wife and mother. In 1 Timothy, women are given similar instruction to that of Titus 2:3-5. Women are told how to dress and act and are forbidden from preaching and exercising authority over men. With all of these glorious Bible passages in mind, I believe Titus 2 goes into the most depth on how women are to conduct themselves while also instructing women how to train the younger generation by utilizing the same principles.
The main point of Titus 2:3-5 is to instruct older women on how to conduct themselves and train the younger women within the Church. Subsequently, the younger women would learn how they also are to conduct themselves. This is still a relevant message that needs to be taught within the Church. Sadly, I do not believe there is an appropriate level of discipleship that goes on within the Church, and I would make this claim for both men and women. We must ask ourselves why this is. In reference to Titus 2:3-5, older women specifically are commanded to train younger women. So why don’t we do it?
Let me first begin by establishing who is considered an “older woman” within this text. Although Paul (the author of Titus) does not specify the age that would qualify one as an “older” woman, several scholars have made the reasonable notion that an older woman in this passage is referring to women who are at least sixty years old. How do they arrive at this conclusion? Childbearing normally ends around forty to forty-five years old. By the time a woman raises her children, she will be about sixty to sixty-five years old. So, while there is no biblical, hard and fast rule that a woman cannot be considered an “older woman” until the age of sixty, it provides a general idea of what Paul meant when he said, “older women.”
Prior to teaching anyone anything, an older woman is first commanded to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. A woman who is reverent in behavior adorns herself in modest clothing as to not draw negative attention to herself. She has a desire to be known for her transformed heart, not causing a distraction by her outward appearance. She is a representation of God in her clothing, speech, conduct, and conversation. Next, a woman who is not a slanderer does not seek to cause division within the Church. While it is sinful, in this context, Paul is not specifically talking about mild conversations about others. He is talking about slanderous speech or malicious gossip. An older woman who is reverent in behavior and not a slanderer refuses to listen to or encourage such talk. Finally, a woman of God should not be a slave to wine or strong drink. A person who becomes dependent upon wine brings dishonor to the Lord, defiles the reputation of the Church, and, most of the time, causes others to fall into this sinful pattern of behavior.
This should cause introspection. Are you reverent in your behavior? Or are you acting in a manner to draw negative attention to yourself? Oftentimes, we do not see the attention as negative because it is something we desire. However, if you care more about what others think of your outward appearance as opposed to your inward being, then it is an issue of sin. How are you with slander and gossip? What about drinking wine? Do you long to have that glass of wine or two at the end of the day? The wine itself is not sinful but what are you leaning on? Where does your comfort lie? Is it in the bottle or is it in Christ? John MacArthur says, “addiction to much wine becomes more a prison than a means of escape.” I urge you to take a deep look into these areas of your life. Set aside your traditions and what the world tells you is “ok.” Ask yourself, “am I living a life that is pleasing and glorifying to the Lord in ALL things?” Anything we seek and desire more than God is an idol, and we must destroy them.
Older women are to teach by example and instruction. This is why it is so important for an older woman to be of reverent behavior. They are to teach what is holy and godly. First, they are to devote themselves to a life of teaching their own children what is noble and excellent. Once their children have grown up, they are next to teach younger women to be righteous and godly wives and mothers. Older women are to teach the younger women to be modest and temperate, wise, and prudent in their conduct to their husbands and in management of family affairs.
I have talked about the roles of older women in the Church longer than I intended, but I believe it is important to discuss the vital role they play in training up the next generation. For the sake of running out of room, I will not exegete each part of Titus 2:4-5; however, I do want to touch on the sections of husbands, children, and our homes within these two verses.
“and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
Titus 2:4-5
Younger women are to love and submit to their husbands.
While it is not revolutionary, it is sad to live in a time where the God-ordained role of women is one of the most viciously attacked biblical standards within society. Assailants within the Church ridicule and reinterpret Titus 2:4-5 more than most other passages in Scripture. The word used for love in verse 4 (“…young women to love their husbands…”) is philandros. This refers to a “willing, determined love.” It is not referring to a sexual or romantic type of love. It is referring to a love that is chosen daily by a godly wife. It is love that is not dependent upon the worthiness of her husband; however, it is based on the command given by God in which is extended by a godly wife’s affectionate and obedient heart. What makes this type of love unique is that godly women are called to extend it to even unfaithful husbands who can be unlovable, uncaring, and ungrateful. Godly wives are to help their husbands in all ways they can. They should seek the honor of their husbands and seek to please them in all things that align with the things of God. In verse 5 we are told to be submissive to our husbands. A younger woman should support her husband’s leadership role within the family. She should not oppose him, especially in front of her children. They should always seek to be in one accord. A direct command is given in Ephesians 5:22-24, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now, as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Ephesians 5 does not say wives should submit in some things; it says they should submit in everything (with the exception that he is asking her to sin).
Charles Spurgeon had this to say about his wife, Susannah:
“She delights in her husband, in his person, his character, his affection; to her, he is not only the chief and foremost of mankind, but in her eyes, he is all in all. Her heart’s love belongs to him and to him only. He is her little world, her paradise, her choice treasure. She is glad to sink her individuality in him; she seeks no renown for herself; his honor is reflected upon her, and she rejoices in it. She will defend his name with her dying breath; safe enough is he where she can speak for him. His smiling gratitude is all the reward she seeks. Even in her dress she thinks of him, and considers nothing beautiful which is distasteful to him.”
He has many objects in life, some of which she does not quite understand; but she believes them all, and anything she can do to promote them, she delights to perform. Such a wife, as a true spouse, realizes the model marriage relation, and sets forth what our oneness with the Lord ought to be.”
After reading this quote, I wanted to delete my entire article and only submit this. Wow. What a beautiful tribute to his wife but even better than that is this beautiful testimony of a God-fearing, submissive wife.
Younger women are to love their children.
Godly mothers are not to love their children with a “best friend” mentality. They are to raise them with eternity in mind training them up to love and serve the Lord. Mothers have been placed in such a unique position to train their children daily in the ways of God. Likewise, mothers are to use appropriate discipline over their children. The love a woman has for her child should be both selfless and sacrificial.
Younger women are to be workers at home.
The primary responsibility of a married woman is to take care of her home. This includes her husband first and then her children. While it is not sinful for a woman to have a job outside of the home, it is her primary responsibility to oversee the day-to-day functionality of both the home and the children. I would argue that, if possible, women should stay home with her children and keep her house in order. Each situation is different; however, great strides should be made to try to make this happen. It is imperative that a woman raise her own children. The point being made is not as much that a woman should not leave her home; rather, her work at home should be the priority. Taking care of household affairs, and her children should come before anything else (except her husband).
So, what does any of this have to do with anything? Why did I choose to write a blog article on these verses? I believe Titus 2:3-5 has a lot to offer both older women and younger women of the faith. Older women are to be reverent in behavior. They are supposed to teach and train by example and instruction. Younger women are to love their husbands and children selflessly and sacrificially, not seeking anything in return. They are to subject themselves under the authority of their husbands with a glad heart. They should be pure, kind, and of self-control. Women of both ages should desire to do these things in obedience to the Word of God as not to dishonor him.
The list given in Titus 2:3-5 is a tough list, no matter the age. The older women carry a great burden in passing these teachings down to younger generations to continue healthy growth and uprising of godly women within the Church. The younger women carry such responsibility in these passages as well. It is not always easy to love selflessly and sacrificially. It is not always easy to be kind, loving, pure in heart, and of self-control. I am confident to say that we all fail often in these areas.
So, what happens when one fails? No one woman is perfect. Not even the crown of creation herself, Eve, was perfect. So, what happens next? Perfection can be sought only in Perfection Himself; Jesus Christ. Aside from Christ, there is no love, there is no self-control, there is no kindness, no joy, no purity. Nothing perfect can be attained aside from Christ and Him crucified. Women are not given this list to see how perfect they can be. This list is given as instruction of what a godly woman’s life should look like.
Women should measure themselves according to this list, and when one sees her failures and weaknesses, it should take her to her knees in repentance. At the perfect time in history Christ came to this earth to walk a sinless, perfect life. While He was 100% man, He remained 100% God. He came to earth with a mission. This mission was not only to heal the physically deaf and blind and to raise the dead. While these were great miracles, He came for such a greater purpose than that. He came with the intentions of dying on the cross for our sins and to have the wrath of God poured out onto Him. A death that we deserved, He took willingly. The wrath of God we deserved, He bore on himself. In Luke 22:42 we see Jesus in the garden praying to God before his arrest. He says, “Father if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” Further in verse 44 we read, “being in agony He [Jesus] prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling to the ground.” Jesus was sweating blood! It was not the thought of death Jesus was in such agony over; it was the wrath of God that was going to be poured out on Him. Just think about that for one minute.
If you do not repent of your sins you will face this wrath and you will go to Hell. The only people who will be saved from the wrath of God are those whose sins Jesus covered on the cross. No one can avoid it; not your unbelieving family members, not your friends. Please, repent. To repent means to 1) agree with God that you have broken his laws and are deserving of His wrath and an eternity in hell and 2) to stop what you are doing and turn your eyes to Jesus, believing in the complete saving work He did on the cross so that we may be perfected in His righteousness. Biblical womanhood then is accomplished as we behold the finished work of Christ, repent of our failure to measure up, and keep our eyes fixed on Him. Amen.
