This blog is a part of a series of blog posts that are based on the sermons in this sermon series at MissionWay Church.. If you missed the first post in this blog, be sure to check it out here as it lays much of the groundwork for this series of blogs.

If you could go back in time to the 50’s and 60’s and interview folks from that period, you would get some really puzzled looks if you asked them their thoughts on transgenderism. The word didn’t even appear in the dictionary until 1974. That’s not to say the concept wasn’t around at all, but it certainly wasn’t being discussed in the mainstream like it is today. For that matter, transgenderism really didn’t hit everyday conversations until the past several years. But while this may seem like a new phenomenon, the worldview that fuels the ideas behind this movement have been around for a while.

“The most powerful worldviews are the ones we absorb without knowing it. They are the ideas nobody talks about—the assumptions we pick up almost by osmosis.”

Nancy Pearcey

The above quote by Pearcey, I believe, partly explains how we got here. Our culture, and even many Christians have assumed so many lies about sexuality and our connection to our bodies without realizing it for so long that it’s not that hard to see how so many have accepted the worldview claims of the transgender movement. If we are going to tackle this issue with a biblical worldview, we must be willing to challenge those assumptions and claims with the truth of God’s Word and there’s no better place to start than the beginning of time when God made men and women in the first place.

Genesis 1:26-27 - “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

This passage teaches us essential truths that directly contradict the things taught within the LGBT movement, especially those advocating for transgenderism.

1. God made us in His image

There is much debate among theologians and scholars as to what exactly it means to be made in the image of God, but there is general agreement that it at least means we are made to reflect the character of God. We are made to relate to Him and one another in a way that resembles His character and likeness. And while this image has been damaged in some ways by our sin, it has not been taken away. Every single human being who has ever lived has been made in the image of their Creator - The God of the Bible.

Since this is true, then God is the one Who gets to decide our identity and purpose. He didn’t make us on a whim or at random and then ask us to figure out who we are - He defines those things and, in fact, defined them before we were ever even born. Psalm 139:13-14 - “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Because God made us, we are His and are to commit our whole selves to Him. Therefore, when we fundamentally alter our bodies in ways that God did not make us, we attack the image of God in us.

The question may come to these assertions: What does our gender have to do with the image of God? I’m so glad you asked. That brings us to our next point.

2. God made us male and female.

Genesis 1:27 – “…male and female he created them…”

Jesus Himself reaffirms this truth in Matthew 19:4 for those who want to claim that Jesus never addressed this issue. When God made you, He made you in His image and He made you either male or female. To claim you were made one way but really should be another is to claim God made a mistake.

Some will say, “but my body is saying one thing, and my mind is saying another.” Paul would say: “…be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” (Romans 12:2). God made your body with intentionality and purpose. Why is our first assumption that there must be some mistake in the design, rather than assuming it’s our thinking that’s wrong?

Some will say that Galatians 3:28 gives permission for transgenderism. Galatians 3:28 – “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Using that same interpretation, you would also conclude that there is no real distinction or difference with Jew and Gentile, slave and free - that any difference is simply a social construct. This passage is not denying differences but denying that those distinctions trump our ultimate identity in Christ. It’s a verse about the fact that the cross eliminates any hierarchy among us; not that there are no distinctions, but that those distinctions do not determine our value and worth.

As male and female, we also have the command from God to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). Homosexuality and transgenderism both, at best, distort this command and, at worst, defy it. This is one of God’s purposes in making two genders who are distinct, yet perfectly compliment each other - so that they would join together in marriage and bear children.

There is no getting around the Scriptural principle that God only made male and female and never gave us authority over that aspect of our lives. You can deny it is true, but you cannot deny that the Bible clearly teaches it.

CONCLUSION

As Christians, we are right to want to have compassion on those struggling with gender dysphoria. I am not denying that is a real problem, nor am I suggesting that we should not care for those in that situation. But we are being asked to simply have empathy and allow them to make their own choices, no matter if we disagree or believe it will cause them great harm.

“We are told that we need to show empathy, but empathy is a cheap substitute for God’s grace.”

Rosaria Butterfield

If all we ever do is seek to understand (as we should do), we never give the hope of the Gospel. The Gospel gives us a better picture of ourselves than Transgenderism ever could. We should not primarily rail against false ideologies but seek to promote the Good News that the Gospel doesn’t just change our eternal destination, it changes our lives here and now. We have to love people enough to tell them the truth about the God who made them.

We must tell them the good news that no matter how much harm and destruction their decisions cause to their bodies, the Gospel tells a story of complete Redemption - including our bodies. Romans 8:23 – “And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” Jesus will return one day and clothe us with a perfect heavenly body, free of imperfections and perfectly reflecting the image of God and the perfect design of our creator.

This is much better news than any ideology promoted by those in the Transgender movement. It is truly the best news of all and we must not be afraid to preach it no matter how much our culture rejects it.

This blog is a part of a series of blog posts that are based on the sermons in this sermon series at MissionWay Church.. If you missed the first post in this blog, be sure to check it out here as it lays much of the groundwork for this series of blogs.

I debated doing this series for a long time. Not because I was afraid to speak the truth in love or because I was afraid our church would shrink (we actually grew in number during this sermon series), but because I really wanted to make sure that there was room for people to ask questions as we moved through this series. Sunday morning sermons are a time for the bold and faithful proclamation of the Word of God and therefore don’t necessarily lend themselves to a Q&A time very easily. So, one thing I did during this series was take questions after the sermon and deal with them weekly on my podcast. You can check out this sermon’s Q&A podcast here.

The issue of homosexuality has been a heated debate in our culture for quite some time. However, the truth is that this issue has begun to sort of fade into the background just a bit as other issues have taken the forefront (such as Transgenderism which we will deal with next). My fear is that Christians have become so accustomed to hearing about this topic that they have simply accepted it as a reality and therefore are not actively equipping themselves to speak the truth in love on this issue as much as we used to.

Please understand that I am not in any way advocating that we stir up riots and arguments, but that we are able to faithfully and skillfully proclaim the Gospel with kindness in the face of this issue. I hope this blog post will be a very brief primer to help you do that.

“The reason they [Christians] speak out on moral issues should not be because their beliefs are being threatened or because they feel ‘offended.’ They should erase the word offended from their vocabulary. After all, Christians are called to share in the offense of the cross. This is not about us.”
- Nancy Pearcy

There is a house near where I live that was recently torn down. I was a little bit surprised at how fast it happened. I thought it would at least take a few days, but I drove to work that morning with it still standing and returned that afternoon with it completely gone - without a trace. What took months to build was torn down in a matter of hours. Many Christians have allowed their theology - especially on issues like homosexuality - to be “torn down” by one or two statements when it takes time, study, prayer, and work to build a truly robust and biblical theology on this issue. Don’t let a 30-second Tik-Tok video tear down the foundations of marriage that have been carefully built and established by the Lord for thousands of years - ever since the book of Genesis.

Let’s read the God-breathed text that was given through Moses all the way back then.

Genesis 2:18-21 (ESV) - “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.”

I know what some of you are thinking: that said NOTHING about homosexuality. But I’m going to contend that it says almost everything we need to know about this issue because this is where God lays his foundation for marriage and how we ought to think about it.

Here’s what we know from this Genesis passage…

1. God said man shouldn’t be alone.

If you’re a husband, you should be muttering “AMEN!” to yourself right now. Consider something with me: Adam walked in the Garden with God Himself. He had perfect communion with the LORD in the garden. He had dominion over the animals, naming them, tending Eden without the effects of sin on the earth. He didn’t really need anything. And yet, the Lord says “it is not good” that Adam was alone. Why?

Because men and women are made in the image of the Triune God who exists as one being in three persons. The eternal, divine relations of the Father, Son, and Spirit show us that being made in the image of God, in part, means that we have been created for relationship as well. God created Adam, and therefore, every human in such a way that it’s not good for us to be alone. Therefore, the desire of every human to be joined to another human in marriage is a God-given desire.

To find a wife is, throughout Scripture, considered a great blessing from God. Proverbs 18:22 - “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” God has wired us to desire to be joined to another person in marriage. The important point here is that God is the one who has given us this desire, and God is the one who dictates how this desire should be fulfilled.

2. God said marriage is a beautiful thing.

My grandparents had a little sign in their kitchen that read: “Marriage has three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and suffering.” I never understood the joke as a kid. Not saying that has been my experience at all, but marriage is certainly not for the weak - it takes real work day in and day out. Also, while we joke about it, there’s this natural suspicion of and disdain for marriage in our culture. It’s viewed as something you do for a season and if it works out, great, but if not, just move on. However, biblically speaking, marriage is not a legal contract, it’s a covenant between one man and one woman before God.

God met Adam in his loneliness by bringing him a woman he could join himself to. And she was made “from” man in order to perfectly compliment him. Contrary to what our world believes and teaches, to say that Eve was created to be Adam’s helper (literally help-meet), does not automatically mean she was created inferior. As a matter of fact, the Lord is often called the “helper” of His people because to be a helper is to fill up what that person is lacking.

Adam’s poetic expression upon seeing Eve really tells us a lot: Genesis 2:23 – “Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Adam is here not describing an inferior, subservient being, but one who is perfectly equal with himself, yet distinct. One of the greatest moments of my life was watching Jenna walk down the aisle. Not just because she is so beautiful (because she certainly is) but because I had found the one my soul loved. We were about to take our two lives and join them as one and I knew that by grace I had found favor with the Lord in Him bringing her to me. That’s what Adam is saying here.

Scripture is clear from this text and Ephesians 5:25-33 that marriage is a “one-flesh” union between one man and one woman that points us to Christ and the Church. Christ is the Great Bride-groom and the Church is His bride, this is all throughout the NT. Homosexuality then, is not only a twisting of God’s original design for marriage (one man and one woman), but is a twisting of the picture of Christ the Bride-groom and His Bride, the Church.

We understand in everyday life that the person who designs and invents something gets to define its use. How much more God, who not only created all things, but has all authority in Heaven and on Earth? So while you won’t necessarily answer to the creator of the hammer if you use it to tenderize meat instead of hammering nails, you will give an account before the Almighty God one day for how you treated the things He created and instituted - including marriage.

Maybe you’re still not convinced at this point. And you’re like: I need something more concrete from Jesus or the Bible about homosexuality. So let’s end with a point that gives some straight-up answers built on that foundation.

3. God did say homosexuality is a sin.

First, let’s look at the categories He defined in Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” These words were written by Moses, yes, but were “breathed-out” by God Himself. Some people want us to find the literal words of Jesus from while He was on earth addressing this issue because according to many, He didn’t. I would say that He clearly did so in Matthew 19 when He quoted Genesis 2:24 and He added something: Matthew 19:6 – “…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Jesus is saying that God Himself has instituted marriage and man does not get to separate or redefine that union according to their liking.

Secondly, Jesus is God. So Whenever God has spoken throughout history, Jesus was speaking. On that note, here’s what God has said about homosexuality specifically in Leviticus 18:22 – “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.” and in Romans 1:26-27 – “For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” In 1 Corinthians 6 and 1 Timothy 1:9-10, Paul includes it among the sins for which men and women will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Based on these passages and others, you can certainly deny that you believe homosexuality is a sin, but you cannot deny that God in His Word and through the words of Jesus Himself calls it sin.

CONCLUSION

So, what do we do with all of this as Christians? After all, my primary audience in this blog is believers. But if you happen to be an unbeliever reading this far, I’m glad you’re here. Here is the goal we should have as believers in this and every conversation: We speak the truth in love. A Christian does not walk away from someone stuck in sin, rather we run to them with the compassion of Christ.

Matthew 9:36-38 – “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.’”

Our goal is not ultimately to make gay people straight but to see lost people found. We have a mission to love people enough with the love of Christ to point them to the truth of Christ. This is not about changing anyone’s behavior, but about transforming their lives and seeing them get a new heart with new desires. It’s about not just their temporal decision on who they want to marry, but about their eternal decision to accept or reject Christ.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 – “Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

There’s no room for pointing fingers at anyone in Paul’s words (we’re all sinners), but rather for all of us to rejoice in grace through Christ and to tell others how they too can receive that grace and forgiveness of sin. Why would we withhold grace from anyone because we don’t want them to be offended? We know that many will disagree with us and call us bigoted or out of touch with the times - or worse. but let me close with a powerful and thought-provoking statement from Nancy Pearcy from her powerful book: “Love Thy Body.”

“The early church may have been ‘on the wrong side of history.’ But that’s why it changed history.”

Nancy Pearcey

Last year, I preached a sermon series titled: “Did God really say?” where we dealt with some of the most controversial subjects in our culture from a Biblical perspective. I have decided to take some of the content from that series and create blog posts out of it. I hope this will serve as a resource to many who are wrestling through these issues. You can watch the entire sermon series here.

I began that series by explaining what it looks like to speak the truth in love. As we think about some of the most heated debates happening in our world today, you can look around and see many Christians who have either conceded to the culture or become silent for fear of persecution or being labeled as divisive. And while the Bible does call us to love others and live peaceful lives (1 Tim. 2:2), the Bible also calls us to boldly proclaim truth (2 Timothy 2:24-26). As Christians we are called to speak truth boldly in the face of evil and to speak lovingly reflecting the face of our Father.

I am writing about this because I believe there are also many Christians who want to be able to speak the truth in love, but their churches are not really teaching them how to do both. Many churches help their people know the truth, but are lacking in demonstrating Christlike love. Others are shying away from the truth in the name of being more loving. But the truth is that you can’t have the truth without love or vice-versa. Because some Christians are not finding how to do this in the Church, they are tuning in to their favorite political podcast to learn how to engage on these issues and when the church gets its morality from politics before the pulpit, we’re in trouble.

The call of Ephesians 4:15 is “…speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” If we are going to know how to do this, we must first understand what truth is.

1. What is truth?

It’s the famous question that Pilate asked of Jesus (John 18:37-38) and thankfully Jesus had already answered this question in the previous chapter of John when He said “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (John 17:17).

As Christians, we believe that there’s a distinction between little “t” and capital “T” Truth. For instance, it’s a little “t” truth to say that The Yankees are the greatest franchise in sports history. But it’s a big “T” truth to say that there is One God who exists in three persons. Okay, so maybe a better illustration of little “t” truth would be that 2 + 2 = 4. However, I still stand by my assertion about the Yankees.

Both little “t” and big “T” truth come from the Lord who made the world and the laws of physics it’s governed by, but also who has clearly revealed Himself through the divine revelation of Scripture. Our society however does not make such a distinction. They speak more of “your” truth. They’ll tell you that what’s important is not discovering absolute Truth, but living “your” truth. As if you can have your truth and I can have mine but neither of them is superior or “more true.”

The Bible does not leave the possibility of such a category of truth. Paul does not instruct us to speak our truth but to speak THE Truth. Jesus was clear, that truth comes from the Word of God. So when we are aiming to know, and speak truth, we must do so in alignment with the Word of God. Everything contrary is false.

And this call to speak the truth has to do with more than our words. As Christians, we are not just called to affirm true statements, but to live every aspect of our lives in alignment with God’s Truth. This requires not just knowing true things, but having a proper and biblical worldview. And that worldview must be ruled and governed by the Scriptures.

When we speak about anything, we are to be a people who do so in Truth. And we must always be willing to speak that truth even when it’s inconvenient or hard, and even when it costs us something. That is the first way in which we must speak, but Paul says that this truth is also to be spoken with love.

2. What is love?

Just as it’s sinful to not speak the truth, it’s sinful to speak the truth apart from love. Take a look at 1 Timothy 1:5: “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” When we speak the truth, it must always be done in Christlike love. And there is perhaps no greater passage that more clearly shows us what this love should look like than 1 Corinthians 13, specifically verses 4-7. So let’s go to those verses and see how we should season our speech with love.

• “Love is patient” – Don’t demand immediate agreement when speaking the truth.

• “and kind” – Don’t respond in anger when challenged. Seek the other person’s good.

• “Love does not envy” – Don’t use the truth to gain status or popularity.

• “or boast” – Never brag about winning an argument or “owning” your opponent.

• “it is not arrogant” – Don’t act like you’re the smartest person in the room.

• “or rude” – Demeaning language and profane talk have no place on the lips of a Christian.

• “It does not insist on its own way” – Considers others more important and God’s glory the goal. Insist on God’s way and the good of others.

• “it is not irritable” – some Christians seem to be lying in wait for an argument.

• “or resentful” – Never hate, resent, or become bitter toward those who reject the Truth.

• “It does not rejoice in wrongdoing” – Think about Jesus rebuking Peter for cutting off the soldier’s ear. Peter was “defending” Jesus but did so wrongfully.

• “but rejoices with the truth” – The Goal is not winning arguments, but winning souls and making sure God’s truth is proclaimed.

• “Love bears all things” – Mistreatment & persecution should not quench a your love for the lost.

• “believes all things” – Always think the best about those you are engaging with.

• “hopes all things” – Never think proclaiming truth is in vain or someone is beyond being saved.

• “endures all things” – There’s never a season where we can lay down our call to love.

If we are going to be faithful in this culture and in addressing the issues we face, we MUST have both truth and love, not one or the other. As John Stott said “Truth without love is too hard; love without truth is too soft.” Here are a couple questions you can ask yourself to see if you’re seeking to speak the truth in love:

• Am I not saying something I should say out of the fear of man?

• What biblical passage or principal am I getting this from?

• What’s my end goal in this conversation? To win, or to glorify Christ?

• Do I have a genuine concern for this person’s relationship with the Lord?

• When I stand before the Lord in judgement, will this conversation be rewarded?

• Will I be angry with them if they do not listen to me?

• Have I considered both what I am saying and how I am saying it?

Christians are to be a people who love people enough to speak the truth and love the truth enough to love people. I would like to close with a sobering thought by Voddie Baucham: “Don’t let anybody tell you that it’s not loving if you stand flat-footed and speak the truth. What’s not loving is to look at someone in the eye when God says the are in jeopardy of an eternity in hell and merely wink and nod at their sin because you’re afraid of being called names.”

Our son, who recently turned two, has begun randomly shouting out to us “I need help!” when he finds himself in a situation that he doesn’t know how to navigate. It’s obviously a very cute thing to witness, but it also became a stark reminder to me of my need for Jesus.

Jesus said in Luke 18:17 - “Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” That truth has several implications, but one of them is that we are meant to recognize our helplessness and dependence upon Jesus if we are going to enter the Kingdom. To come to Jesus in faith, in part, is to come to Him declaring “I need help!”

And it’s more than help we need. Before Jesus, we are “dead in trespasses and sins” (Ephesians 2:1) and apart from Him, we can do “nothing” (John 15:5). So to come to Jesus is to cry out to Him in faith knowing that He alone can raise us to life, save our souls, and be the Help that we so desperately need.

When my son cries out for help, as a father, I cannot help but run to his aid and figure out how to help him. But even with all the love I have for my son, I am imperfect, impatient, and sometimes opt for a quick fix just to appease him in that moment. Our Heavenly Father, who is perfect, is always patient, always kind, and always comes to our aid with an answer that will always be for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

Sometimes, my son needs help in a different way than he was asking for it, and the same is true of us when we cry out to God in prayer. As a good Father, He comes to our rescue when we call and He always does what is in accordance with His good and perfect will - even when it’s not what we expected or even wanted from Him. And in those moments, the same faith that called out to Him saying “I need help!” is the faith we need that will allow us to say “not what I will, but what you will.”

Still, there are other times when my son does need my help but refuses to ask for it because he thinks he is independent. I have to think that the Lord chuckles a little watching me parent my son in these moments because it’s exactly how I treat Him sometimes. I act like I don’t need God’s help and end up making a huge mess only to run to him in shame and repentance. Even then, He is patient and kind, quick to forgive, quick to shower me with grace, and eager to set me back on the path of righteousness.

Parenting continues to teach me so much about the love of my Father for me. And in this case, it has taught me that I need to never lose the childlike faith that quickly goes to my Father and exclaims: “I need help!”

I don’t know how many of you ever watched the show “Family Matters,” but one of the most entertaining things about that show to me was how Steve Urkel would just randomly show up in the Winslow home. While it was entertaining to watch, it must have been pretty annoying for the Winslow family to feel like there were hardly any boundaries in place. I think I would have changed my locks and sat down with Urkel for an honest conversation.

During a recent Bible study class at our church, a question arose: should Christians set boundaries in their relationships? This question was prompted by our study in 1 John 4, which says in verse 20 - “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” That’s really strong language and should cause us to think seriously about the relationships we have with others. But does the principle of 1 John 4:20 mean that it’s ungodly to set certain firm boundaries in our relationships?

There’s a passage that instantly came to my mind which I find helpful in this conversation:

“But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.”
John 2:24 (ESV)

It seems to me that Jesus set certain boundaries in His earthly life with the people around Him. While Jesus was often pressed in at every side with crowds of people wanting to hear Him teach and have Him heal them, He also would often retreat to be alone with His Father (Luke 5:16). Jesus had 12 disciples, but even just 3 of those men were some of his “closest” followers and friends. He did not do what everyone expected of Him which is a way of setting boundaries as well.

So we know that setting boundaries absolutely can be biblical, but how do we know when we should do so? There are a couple of guiding principles I believe we should consider:

Is this relationship bringing temptation and sin into my life?

If this person in your life is constantly trying to convince you to join them in sin, then you certainly need to be cautious about when and how you spend your time with them. If they are someone who always tempts you to be angry, for example, then you need to deal with that sin in your own heart and find ways to create boundaries that protect you from being angry. If this person is someone who is always engaged in some sinful behavior, then as a Christian, you need to consider the principle that says: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

Is this relationship putting myself or someone I am responsible for in danger?

Yes, as Christians we are called to “love our neighbors as ourselves” (Matthew 22:39), but that doesn’t mean we are supposed to allow ourselves to be doormats to physical, spiritual, or emotional abuse. We have a duty in those situations to protect ourselves and anyone around us (for example: your children) from those kinds of abuses. Setting boundaries in this case is actually a way that we do love our neighbors. After all, love “does not rejoice at wrongdoing” (1 Corinthians 13:6).

What is my motivation for setting these boundaries?

This is perhaps the most important question to ask. If you are setting boundaries with someone in your life because they are different than you and you feel inconvenienced by them, that would be unloving and even prideful. If this person has genuinely sought your forgiveness with sincere repentance that even has evidence of their sorrow, and you refuse to listen to them, then that’s not setting boundaries, it’s the sin of unforgiveness. Ask yourself why you are setting boundaries and also ask yourself what you hope the ultimate outcome of these boundaries will be. That will tell you a lot about your own heart and whether or not you’re operating in the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) or not.

So yes, setting boundaries can be biblical, even Christlike, but we must not adopt the standards of our world that say anytime someone inconveniences you, holds you back, behaves in ‘toxic ways, etc, then you must cut them out of your life immediately and entirely. Setting boundaries does not mean withholding forgiveness, it means setting up guardrails to protect yourself and others from sin being committed against you, and it can even protect you from falling into traps of sin yourself.