Note to the reader: While this article will have unique application for pastors and those desiring to be in pastoral ministry one day, I want to emphasize that there are principles in here for every believer. I intentionally wrote it that way so that whether you’re a full-time pastor, a lay-elder at your church, or a member of a church simply seeking to follow Jesus more faithfully, this article will be encouraging and helpful for you. And if nothing else, this will give you a deeper understanding and appreciation for the struggles your pastor is facing and help you know how to more intentionally pray for them.

I have been in full-time ministry since December of 2011 and it’s hard to believe I’ll soon be entering my 15th year of pastoral ministry. As I reflect on the time God has given me serving His Church, a few lessons came to mind that I have learned while ‘in the trenches.’ These are not things I distinctly remember anyone preparing me to face and some of them are conversations that really need to happen among young pastors like myself more often. I strongly believe these lessons (or principles) are biblical, although some of them do not have a chapter and verse that I can point to as a “proof-text.” That being said, all of them are taken from biblical principles and wisdom that we find in the Scriptures that I have sought to apply to my life and ministry.

I do not believe I have come up with anything new here. All I am doing is shining a light on some of the things I wish I had known and applied much earlier in my walk with Christ and pastoral ministry. All that said, I do not write this article with regret, but with thankfulness to God for His grace in teaching me along the way as I follow Him. So, here’s five (of the many) things I’ve learned along these last 14 years of ministry.

1. Under-shepherds are judged by the Chief Shepherd

Admittedly, this is the one principle on the list that does more directly apply to pastors particularly. However, all believers will stand before the judgement seat of Christ, so don’t stop reading just yet. Pastors though, not only will stand before Judgement as believers in Christ, but also as those who will give an account for how they steward their calling as a pastor. This is one of the principles that I do have a chapter and verse for, so here it is:

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account…”
Hebrews 13:17 (ESV)

The writer of Hebrews makes clear that pastors will give an account to the Lord for how we shepherd the flock of God that He has entrusted to us. On my first Sunday as the senior pastor of MissionWay Church, this truth hit be like a mac truck. My calling was not to win the approval of the world, other Christians, my congregation, myself, my family, or anyone else. My calling was to be a faithful “under-shepherd” of the Chief Shepherd and to pastor in the way that He, in His Word, tells me to.

This is a sobering reality and one that will cause any pastor to pause and assess the methods of ministry he employs. It certainly challenged me to go beyond trying to simply give a “good” sermon, cast vision, grow the church numerically, and sustain the ministry. I am not primarily a leader of an organization, I am a shepherd of souls (with the understanding that I am under the Chief Shepherd).

Early in my ministry, I would have probably acknowledged this to be true, but it wasn’t until a little more than 5 years ago that this reality truly set in and I began actually seeking to pastor in light of this truth. And while, on the one hand, this is sobering and seems like a heavy burden to carry, the truth that I am doing this “under” the faithful Shepherding of the True Shepherd allows me to operate in this truth with joy and confidence in His work in and through me. So I guess you could say this realization was both heavy and freeing all at the same time and it’s not an understatement that this flipped the way I do ministry on it’s head. No wonder I put it first on the list!

2. You will not prioritize your family by default.

Now this certainly applies to all Christians, but pastors have a knack for especially forgetting this. Many of us have repeated the popular mantra that we don’t want to “sacrifice our family on the altar of ministry,” and yet many (read: most) of us at some point have found ourselves on our way to doing just that. I hope you know this, but just in case you don’t let me put it in bold text for you: your family is your first ministry.

Allow me to tie this principle in with the first one with a quote by Brian Croft:

“If I will someday give an account for the way I have cared for the people in our church, how much more of an account must I give for the souls of those in my home?”
Brian Croft

If that doesn’t wake you up to the importance of this, I don’t know what will. Trust me, I know how demanding ministry can be and I know the temptation to allow it to pull us away from our family more than we’re comfortable with. But the truth is that often, the sense of demand we feel in ministry, our jobs, or our daily lives, is self-inflicted. Meaning you are the one placing many of the demands you feel on yourself and then using that as an excuse to not shepherd your family well. Your church needs a pastor who prioritizes his family over them, much in the same way that your kids need parents who prioritize their marriage.

Your family is ground zero in terms of your calling as a follower of Christ. Every other vocation, ministry, project, even relationship, should fall under your famiily in terms of importance to you.

The reality is that you may believe everything I just wrote, say a hearty “amen!” to it, and still be in jeopardy of neglecting your family. Because you will not prioritize them by default. In other words, just because you believe these things to be true, doesn’t mean that you won’t need to fight to make this a reality in your life. This is an area of life that needs constant attention and regular evaluation. Talk to your spouse and your kids often about how you’re doing in this area and be sure to truly listen to them.

If you’re a pastor, I could not recommend this book by Brian Croft more. Get it. Today. Read it, and go through the discussion questions with your spouse. I can say that as boldly as I did only because of how transformative it was for me and my family.

3. Social media is not your flock

I’ve been on X - formerly Twitter (seriously, when will we stop having to qualify that?!) a bit lately and I’ve realized something: many pastors seem to be more concerned with shepherding social media than shepherding their flock. Let me be clear, I do not know their motives and I am not saying this is true in every case I suspect it, I am just trying to put my finger on something that I have observed for some time now.

And of course I get it, I too have fallen victim to this trap. I can tend to get so caught up in theological, political, social, and personal debates on these sites and be completely ignorant to or even flat-out ignore the issues that the people in my church are actually facing. Not that the conversations on social media are unimportant, or irrelevant, but when I am more focused on the conversations online than the needs, hurts, sins, prayers, and questions of the flock God has entrusted to me, I’m not walking as a faithful shepherd.

Another danger in this thinking is that it causes you to run to social media first when you have something to say. Instead of depositing your faithful teaching to your flock first and foremost, they get the leftovers after what you have to say has gone through the filter of the trolls on Twitter. God has placed you in your church not only so that you can shepherd them, but so that they can minister to and hold you accountable as well in your teaching and your character.

What if we put our theology and teaching to the test in our local churches first, and then prayerfully decided whether those things will be helpful and beneficial to share with complete strangers on social media? Just a thought that I’m not even sure will make sense to you, but it’s one I’ve been having for some time and needed to get out there.

Besides all of this, the amount of time that social media can consume is nothing to overlook. Quite frankly, with the volume of posts some pastors and Christians seem to be making, I have no idea how they are finding the time to truly be with their families and churches. How are you doing in this? Have you checked your “Screen Time” stats lately on your phone? If you’re nervous about what they will reveal, maybe you already know this is an issue.

I do not say this as one who has done this perfectly. Especially earlier in my ministry (and still at times today), I fell victim to being more concerned with the conversations online than I was about the needs of those in the pew next to me. I’m not saying being engaged on social media is a bad thing, but it is no replacement for the local church.

4. Discipleship requires boldness.

When I think about all the people who have walked out of my office living in sin that I was too afraid to address directly I’m, quite frankly, a bit embarrassed. similar to many pastors I know, I like to be liked. Too often I seek the approval of men and allow the fear of man to cause me to shrink back from speaking the truth in love to those who I know need to hear it.

But if we are going to be effective in discipleship, it is going to require more boldness than we are sometimes comfortable with. I’m not suggesting we do things like: put a poster board in the church lobby listing the attendance and giving of the members. Before you ask, yes, I have seen churches do that before. It’s just that we try so hard at times to circle around the issues of those God has called us to lead instead of lovingly confronting the things we see. We believe we are acting out of love by not calling them out, but exposing sin in order to wash someone with the Gospel is actually one of the most loving things we can do - and it’s part of our calling as pastors.

Go back to the first point of giving an account to God for those He has placed under your care as a pastor and add to it the truth that life is a “vapor” (James 4:14) and I think you’ll begin to understand the point I am trying to make. We need to have some boldness and urgency with the folks we are discipling. Yes, we need to have kindness, patience, gentleness, and all the other fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), but we also need to love people enough to actually confront their sin, bear their burdens, and speak straight with them.

5. Organization and Productivity can be learned.

“You would forget your head if it wasn’t attached to you” is a sentence spoken by my parents to me more times than I could have counted. Ask those who have known me for much of my life and they would nod their heads in agreement to that statement. For most of my life, I thought that’s just who I am; I’m just simply not a very organized person and I need to accept that, try to mask it as much as possible, and hope for the best. At least, that’s what I thought.

Turns out organization and productivity can be learned. How do I know? Well I have dedicated a good amount of time since the beginning of 2023 learning these skills and I feel confident that my wife would tell you while I still have a long way to go, I have been learning and growing in this area of my life. This article is actually proof of this, because I made plans to write this and didn’t just sit at the desk thinking “what do I want to write about today?” as used to be my custom. Not only did I plan this article, but I proofread and edited it, too! That doesn’t mean I expect it to be without error, but baby steps are worth celebrating.

This final principle may not seem to fit with the ‘more spiritual’ ones above it. Actually, I would say this is spiritual and serious too if you take the words of Ephesians 5:15-17 seriously:

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”
Ephesians 5:15-17 (ESV)

Redeeming your time means being intentional with every single moment whether you’re at work, recreation, family time, rest, church, chores, or whatever else you’re doing, do it all with purpose, planning, and for the glory of the Lord (1 Corinthians 10:31). Don’t just make the excuses I did and say “that’s just not my strength.” If it’s a weakness, work hard to make it a strength. While certain people may be more naturally inlined toward these things, they are skills that I truly believe everyone can, and should try, to master for the purpose of redeeming the time.

If you struggle with this (like I still do at times), a great place to start is this book by Reagan Rose. It will give you a Christian perspective on these things and also very practical tools to begin growing in this area of your life. It’s time to stop making excuses and become a better steward of your time and recources.

Conclusion

Maybe there will be a part two of this article because there are certainly more that I could share, but these are some of the ones I’ve been thinking about most often as of late. My hope is that this article reaches other young pastors who need to be challenged and encouraged in these areas just like I have been. So much more could be said about all of them, and if you’re reading this and need some prayer, encouragement, or even counsel, please send me an email. I would love nothing more than to get in the trenches with you, whether you are a pastor or not.

What about you? Which of these do you struggle with? What would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments below.

We’ve all either experienced or heard other people talk about their idea of an ‘ideal’ quiet time. For me it’s the early morning sun, quiet house, comfy chair or table, cup of coffee, an open Bible, and a highlighter/pen combo. I’ve always had the idea that early morning is the best time frame to read my Bible and pray. I could give you many reasons practically speaking why I believe that is best, but if you pressed me to give a Bible verse supporting my opinion that mornings are best, I’m not sure I can provide one.

The Psalms are full of phrases like “Evening and morning and at noon…” (Psalm 55:17), “to declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night” (Psalm 92:2), “I rise before dawn…” (Psalm 119:147), and “my eyes are awake before the watches of the night…” (Psalm 119:148). The writers of the Psalms seemed to cry aloud to the Lord all day long - they didn’t seem to have a ‘preferred’ time.

As I have been reflecting on the story of Daniel and the lion’s den, we see Daniel “…got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God…” (Daniel 6:10). And while there is not a biblical command that we must pray at three specific points of the day, I want to make the case that we should consider adopting a similar practice. I want to give you three reasons for doing so:

1. It centers your day around communing with God.

Most of us organize our days around mealtimes. For many of us, breakfast, lunch, and dinner happen every single day and we plan the rest of our activities accordingly around those three meals. What if we did that with our quiet time instead? What if we stopped trying to fit our daily devotions into our schedule and instead fit our schedule around our daily devotions?When you decide to set aside three points of each day for the Lord, you really begin to think about your schedule much differently.

2. It gives you three chances to reorient your heart each day.

Whenever I have my quiet time only in the morning, it often becomes something I am checking off my list so that I can go about my day. By the end of the day, I’ve forogtten all about what I read in the Bible and prayed to the Lord about. When I have three separate times a day I’m spending with the Lord, it keeps my mind fixed on Him throughout the day much more effectively. So many days, we become distracted, tempted, angry, discouraged, etc. and could really use some time alone with the Lord to recalibrate our hearts toward Him.

3. It helps to crowd out other distractions.

How many points throughout the day do you spend at least 5 minute chunks of time scrolling your phone, checking the news, looking at photos or memes, or just simply wasting time? What if you replaced at least three of those chunks of time with Bible reading and prayer? You are now not only spending that time on something that is eternally more beneficial, but you’re training yourself to go to the Lord when you have time to spare throughout the day. I’d much rather have a habit of reaching for my Bible rather than reaching for my Facebook account when I’ve got a few minutes to spare.

CONCLUSION

I’m not necessarily suggesting that you’re more spiritual if you do this. Nor do I even think it will always be practical in every circumstance. I’m simply offering this as a suggestion for those of us who struggle to make our quiet time a priority. You don’t have to spend 30 minutes at each session. As a matter of fact, I would recommend you choose one of the three times that is a little longer than the other two. Sometimes, just 5 minutes of reading a few verses and a short prayer is all you are able to do. In the end, the goal here is more time with Jesus throughout our day - don’t we all want that?

Well, I’ve decided to go ahead and offend 90% of the people who read this blog…just kidding…I hope. In all seriousness, this is a very important topic because it has to do with our worship of the One True God—what topic could be more important than that? I want to talk about the role that emotion should (or shouldn’t) play in our worship.

Disclaimer: worship involves much more than just singing to the Lord. Paul says, “whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17). For the purposes of this post, however, I will primarily be referring to worship through song. So, when I use the word “worship,” that’s the context.

Now that we’ve established that, back to our topic at hand. If you were to attend ten different church worship services over the course of ten Sundays, you might just see ten very different congregations who express themselves very differently in worship. This, in my opinion, is a good thing because we are all uniquely designed by God with different personalities and ways that we respond in worship. Even still, I think some of us feel guilty when we see a Christian worshipping with hands raised and tears falling down their face because we very rarely have that kind of response. It makes us wonder if we love Jesus as much as they do.

But does more emotion = more worship? Well, let’s make a couple of important points to figure this out:

1. God gave us emotions.

   We have been created in the image of God, and I believe a part of that is that we are emotional beings. This means, among other things, that emotions are not inherently evil. For example, even about anger, the Bible says, “be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). We normally view anger as always a bad thing, and while it certainly often leads to sin, anger in and of itself is not always sin. As a matter of fact, God even portrays Himself as having emotions such as joy, grief, anger, jealousy, love, and others. And while God is immutable and is not swayed or changed by His emotions, this tells us that emotions in and of themselves are given to us by God and serve a purpose.

2. We can’t always trust our emotions.

   All that being said, we are sinful human beings. Even those of us who have been saved by Jesus Christ still wrestle with the flesh and its sinful desires. Because of that, our hearts are deceitfully wicked (Jeremiah 17:9), and we must always check our emotions against the Truth (more on that later). One pastor said it this way: “Your feelings are real, but they aren’t always true.” Many people, for example, can seemingly be worshipping God with great emotion, but it’s not God they are moved by. Rather, the lighting, music, and adrenaline have manipulated in them an emotional response much like what can happen at a secular music concert. On the other hand, someone can not “feel” like worshipping God, and yet choose to worship anyway in spirit and truth, and the Lord would accept that as pure and good.

3. Different truths call for different emotions.

   Some people have simply trained themselves to respond to worship music in certain ways. So they throw their hands up and weep no matter the song being sung. But that response may not be the most appropriate when we are singing songs of joy, for example. We need to be sure that we are not just seeking to elicit some kind of emotion in ourselves every time the music begins on Sunday. Rather, let us have appropriate emotions based on the truths we are singing.

4. Outward expressions don’t always tell the whole story.

   My family will tell you that I am not always the most outwardly expressive person. So, while I’m not completely stoic during worship, I’m not necessarily going to be the most expressive person in the room. That’s true in my everyday life as well. I can be feeling a particular emotion very deeply and yet not express that outwardly to the degree I feel it inwardly. Other people are naturally very expressive, and as soon as their favorite worship song begins, they are a puddle of tears. Let’s not judge one another or ourselves on externals. After all, “God looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

5. Truth should be in charge of our emotions.

   Not the other way around. We should meditate on the truths we sing, think deeply about them, and pray that they impact our mind and heart the way they are supposed to. The Psalms are full of phrases like “My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God” (Psalm 84:2). When we truly understand the truth about who God is and what He has done for us, I do believe that will elicit some kind of emotional response. Maybe not every single time in the exact same way, but the one who has no response to the truth of the Gospel may not truly understand the Gospel. However, it would be a mistake to begin by saying, “I need more emotion in my worship.” Rather, we should say, “I need more of God’s truth to be implanted in my heart so that I may respond in worship to Him.”

Conclusion

W.S. Plumer wrote, “We cannot have too much religious affection if it is pure and holy.” I agree with him. While I have said we should check our emotions against truth and not always trust them, when our emotions and affections are driven by the Gospel and coming from a pure and holy heart, we simply cannot be too expressive about what the Lord has done for us. So, throw up your hands, fall to your knees (you’ll do that one day for sure), weep with joy or mourning over your sin, jump for joy, or stand with your arms at your side and sing loudly the praises of your God who reigns. Just make sure you do it all from a heart that is seeking to love Him with all your mind, soul, heart, and strength. And beg Him for mercy when you fall short and ask Him to give you a clean heart that desires more and more to worship Him.

This blog is a part of a series of blog posts that are based on the sermons in this sermon series at MissionWay Church.. If you missed the first post in this blog, be sure to check it out here as it lays much of the groundwork for this series of blogs.

If you could go back in time to the 50’s and 60’s and interview folks from that period, you would get some really puzzled looks if you asked them their thoughts on transgenderism. The word didn’t even appear in the dictionary until 1974. That’s not to say the concept wasn’t around at all, but it certainly wasn’t being discussed in the mainstream like it is today. For that matter, transgenderism really didn’t hit everyday conversations until the past several years. But while this may seem like a new phenomenon, the worldview that fuels the ideas behind this movement have been around for a while.

“The most powerful worldviews are the ones we absorb without knowing it. They are the ideas nobody talks about—the assumptions we pick up almost by osmosis.”

Nancy Pearcey

The above quote by Pearcey, I believe, partly explains how we got here. Our culture, and even many Christians have assumed so many lies about sexuality and our connection to our bodies without realizing it for so long that it’s not that hard to see how so many have accepted the worldview claims of the transgender movement. If we are going to tackle this issue with a biblical worldview, we must be willing to challenge those assumptions and claims with the truth of God’s Word and there’s no better place to start than the beginning of time when God made men and women in the first place.

Genesis 1:26-27 - “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

This passage teaches us essential truths that directly contradict the things taught within the LGBT movement, especially those advocating for transgenderism.

1. God made us in His image

There is much debate among theologians and scholars as to what exactly it means to be made in the image of God, but there is general agreement that it at least means we are made to reflect the character of God. We are made to relate to Him and one another in a way that resembles His character and likeness. And while this image has been damaged in some ways by our sin, it has not been taken away. Every single human being who has ever lived has been made in the image of their Creator - The God of the Bible.

Since this is true, then God is the one Who gets to decide our identity and purpose. He didn’t make us on a whim or at random and then ask us to figure out who we are - He defines those things and, in fact, defined them before we were ever even born. Psalm 139:13-14 - “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Because God made us, we are His and are to commit our whole selves to Him. Therefore, when we fundamentally alter our bodies in ways that God did not make us, we attack the image of God in us.

The question may come to these assertions: What does our gender have to do with the image of God? I’m so glad you asked. That brings us to our next point.

2. God made us male and female.

Genesis 1:27 – “…male and female he created them…”

Jesus Himself reaffirms this truth in Matthew 19:4 for those who want to claim that Jesus never addressed this issue. When God made you, He made you in His image and He made you either male or female. To claim you were made one way but really should be another is to claim God made a mistake.

Some will say, “but my body is saying one thing, and my mind is saying another.” Paul would say: “…be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” (Romans 12:2). God made your body with intentionality and purpose. Why is our first assumption that there must be some mistake in the design, rather than assuming it’s our thinking that’s wrong?

Some will say that Galatians 3:28 gives permission for transgenderism. Galatians 3:28 – “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Using that same interpretation, you would also conclude that there is no real distinction or difference with Jew and Gentile, slave and free - that any difference is simply a social construct. This passage is not denying differences but denying that those distinctions trump our ultimate identity in Christ. It’s a verse about the fact that the cross eliminates any hierarchy among us; not that there are no distinctions, but that those distinctions do not determine our value and worth.

As male and female, we also have the command from God to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). Homosexuality and transgenderism both, at best, distort this command and, at worst, defy it. This is one of God’s purposes in making two genders who are distinct, yet perfectly compliment each other - so that they would join together in marriage and bear children.

There is no getting around the Scriptural principle that God only made male and female and never gave us authority over that aspect of our lives. You can deny it is true, but you cannot deny that the Bible clearly teaches it.

CONCLUSION

As Christians, we are right to want to have compassion on those struggling with gender dysphoria. I am not denying that is a real problem, nor am I suggesting that we should not care for those in that situation. But we are being asked to simply have empathy and allow them to make their own choices, no matter if we disagree or believe it will cause them great harm.

“We are told that we need to show empathy, but empathy is a cheap substitute for God’s grace.”

Rosaria Butterfield

If all we ever do is seek to understand (as we should do), we never give the hope of the Gospel. The Gospel gives us a better picture of ourselves than Transgenderism ever could. We should not primarily rail against false ideologies but seek to promote the Good News that the Gospel doesn’t just change our eternal destination, it changes our lives here and now. We have to love people enough to tell them the truth about the God who made them.

We must tell them the good news that no matter how much harm and destruction their decisions cause to their bodies, the Gospel tells a story of complete Redemption - including our bodies. Romans 8:23 – “And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” Jesus will return one day and clothe us with a perfect heavenly body, free of imperfections and perfectly reflecting the image of God and the perfect design of our creator.

This is much better news than any ideology promoted by those in the Transgender movement. It is truly the best news of all and we must not be afraid to preach it no matter how much our culture rejects it.

This blog is a part of a series of blog posts that are based on the sermons in this sermon series at MissionWay Church.. If you missed the first post in this blog, be sure to check it out here as it lays much of the groundwork for this series of blogs.

I debated doing this series for a long time. Not because I was afraid to speak the truth in love or because I was afraid our church would shrink (we actually grew in number during this sermon series), but because I really wanted to make sure that there was room for people to ask questions as we moved through this series. Sunday morning sermons are a time for the bold and faithful proclamation of the Word of God and therefore don’t necessarily lend themselves to a Q&A time very easily. So, one thing I did during this series was take questions after the sermon and deal with them weekly on my podcast. You can check out this sermon’s Q&A podcast here.

The issue of homosexuality has been a heated debate in our culture for quite some time. However, the truth is that this issue has begun to sort of fade into the background just a bit as other issues have taken the forefront (such as Transgenderism which we will deal with next). My fear is that Christians have become so accustomed to hearing about this topic that they have simply accepted it as a reality and therefore are not actively equipping themselves to speak the truth in love on this issue as much as we used to.

Please understand that I am not in any way advocating that we stir up riots and arguments, but that we are able to faithfully and skillfully proclaim the Gospel with kindness in the face of this issue. I hope this blog post will be a very brief primer to help you do that.

“The reason they [Christians] speak out on moral issues should not be because their beliefs are being threatened or because they feel ‘offended.’ They should erase the word offended from their vocabulary. After all, Christians are called to share in the offense of the cross. This is not about us.”
- Nancy Pearcy

There is a house near where I live that was recently torn down. I was a little bit surprised at how fast it happened. I thought it would at least take a few days, but I drove to work that morning with it still standing and returned that afternoon with it completely gone - without a trace. What took months to build was torn down in a matter of hours. Many Christians have allowed their theology - especially on issues like homosexuality - to be “torn down” by one or two statements when it takes time, study, prayer, and work to build a truly robust and biblical theology on this issue. Don’t let a 30-second Tik-Tok video tear down the foundations of marriage that have been carefully built and established by the Lord for thousands of years - ever since the book of Genesis.

Let’s read the God-breathed text that was given through Moses all the way back then.

Genesis 2:18-21 (ESV) - “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.”

I know what some of you are thinking: that said NOTHING about homosexuality. But I’m going to contend that it says almost everything we need to know about this issue because this is where God lays his foundation for marriage and how we ought to think about it.

Here’s what we know from this Genesis passage…

1. God said man shouldn’t be alone.

If you’re a husband, you should be muttering “AMEN!” to yourself right now. Consider something with me: Adam walked in the Garden with God Himself. He had perfect communion with the LORD in the garden. He had dominion over the animals, naming them, tending Eden without the effects of sin on the earth. He didn’t really need anything. And yet, the Lord says “it is not good” that Adam was alone. Why?

Because men and women are made in the image of the Triune God who exists as one being in three persons. The eternal, divine relations of the Father, Son, and Spirit show us that being made in the image of God, in part, means that we have been created for relationship as well. God created Adam, and therefore, every human in such a way that it’s not good for us to be alone. Therefore, the desire of every human to be joined to another human in marriage is a God-given desire.

To find a wife is, throughout Scripture, considered a great blessing from God. Proverbs 18:22 - “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” God has wired us to desire to be joined to another person in marriage. The important point here is that God is the one who has given us this desire, and God is the one who dictates how this desire should be fulfilled.

2. God said marriage is a beautiful thing.

My grandparents had a little sign in their kitchen that read: “Marriage has three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and suffering.” I never understood the joke as a kid. Not saying that has been my experience at all, but marriage is certainly not for the weak - it takes real work day in and day out. Also, while we joke about it, there’s this natural suspicion of and disdain for marriage in our culture. It’s viewed as something you do for a season and if it works out, great, but if not, just move on. However, biblically speaking, marriage is not a legal contract, it’s a covenant between one man and one woman before God.

God met Adam in his loneliness by bringing him a woman he could join himself to. And she was made “from” man in order to perfectly compliment him. Contrary to what our world believes and teaches, to say that Eve was created to be Adam’s helper (literally help-meet), does not automatically mean she was created inferior. As a matter of fact, the Lord is often called the “helper” of His people because to be a helper is to fill up what that person is lacking.

Adam’s poetic expression upon seeing Eve really tells us a lot: Genesis 2:23 – “Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Adam is here not describing an inferior, subservient being, but one who is perfectly equal with himself, yet distinct. One of the greatest moments of my life was watching Jenna walk down the aisle. Not just because she is so beautiful (because she certainly is) but because I had found the one my soul loved. We were about to take our two lives and join them as one and I knew that by grace I had found favor with the Lord in Him bringing her to me. That’s what Adam is saying here.

Scripture is clear from this text and Ephesians 5:25-33 that marriage is a “one-flesh” union between one man and one woman that points us to Christ and the Church. Christ is the Great Bride-groom and the Church is His bride, this is all throughout the NT. Homosexuality then, is not only a twisting of God’s original design for marriage (one man and one woman), but is a twisting of the picture of Christ the Bride-groom and His Bride, the Church.

We understand in everyday life that the person who designs and invents something gets to define its use. How much more God, who not only created all things, but has all authority in Heaven and on Earth? So while you won’t necessarily answer to the creator of the hammer if you use it to tenderize meat instead of hammering nails, you will give an account before the Almighty God one day for how you treated the things He created and instituted - including marriage.

Maybe you’re still not convinced at this point. And you’re like: I need something more concrete from Jesus or the Bible about homosexuality. So let’s end with a point that gives some straight-up answers built on that foundation.

3. God did say homosexuality is a sin.

First, let’s look at the categories He defined in Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” These words were written by Moses, yes, but were “breathed-out” by God Himself. Some people want us to find the literal words of Jesus from while He was on earth addressing this issue because according to many, He didn’t. I would say that He clearly did so in Matthew 19 when He quoted Genesis 2:24 and He added something: Matthew 19:6 – “…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Jesus is saying that God Himself has instituted marriage and man does not get to separate or redefine that union according to their liking.

Secondly, Jesus is God. So Whenever God has spoken throughout history, Jesus was speaking. On that note, here’s what God has said about homosexuality specifically in Leviticus 18:22 – “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.” and in Romans 1:26-27 – “For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” In 1 Corinthians 6 and 1 Timothy 1:9-10, Paul includes it among the sins for which men and women will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Based on these passages and others, you can certainly deny that you believe homosexuality is a sin, but you cannot deny that God in His Word and through the words of Jesus Himself calls it sin.

CONCLUSION

So, what do we do with all of this as Christians? After all, my primary audience in this blog is believers. But if you happen to be an unbeliever reading this far, I’m glad you’re here. Here is the goal we should have as believers in this and every conversation: We speak the truth in love. A Christian does not walk away from someone stuck in sin, rather we run to them with the compassion of Christ.

Matthew 9:36-38 – “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.’”

Our goal is not ultimately to make gay people straight but to see lost people found. We have a mission to love people enough with the love of Christ to point them to the truth of Christ. This is not about changing anyone’s behavior, but about transforming their lives and seeing them get a new heart with new desires. It’s about not just their temporal decision on who they want to marry, but about their eternal decision to accept or reject Christ.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 – “Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

There’s no room for pointing fingers at anyone in Paul’s words (we’re all sinners), but rather for all of us to rejoice in grace through Christ and to tell others how they too can receive that grace and forgiveness of sin. Why would we withhold grace from anyone because we don’t want them to be offended? We know that many will disagree with us and call us bigoted or out of touch with the times - or worse. but let me close with a powerful and thought-provoking statement from Nancy Pearcy from her powerful book: “Love Thy Body.”

“The early church may have been ‘on the wrong side of history.’ But that’s why it changed history.”

Nancy Pearcey